Most people make a good new years resolution like, stop drinking pop, loose weight, save 1000 bucks, quit smoking. Some of us are lucky enough to get through January and still resist that first bite of cheese cake. Well I made it to January 10th, the day my entire life changed and I didn’t even get a say in it. So lets go back to the beginning. A few days after Christmas I was having trouble getting comfortable to go to sleep for the night. My side and chest were very tender like a muscle ache. I began to massage when something very unexpected came to my attention, a lump! I was so irritated. I hesitated to tell my mom because of her cancer background I knew she was going to say, “you better get that checked!” and I knew she wouldn’t leave me alone until I did. So I hesitated, all day, but it was really bothering me so I told her and no big surprise here, she said “You better get that checked right away!” so I did, and was able to get an appointment the next day with my family doctor. Fast forward one week of the agony of waiting on tests and results. I had a mammogram and ultrasound which determined the need for a needle biopsy. A few days later I saw my surgeon, and he gave me the results of the needle biopsy. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. AKA Breast Cancer. Beating cancer was defiantly not the New Years resolution I had planned for.
You know that feeling you get, I guess its instinct. I just knew I had cancer. I also felt this way before I found out I was pregnant, both times. My biopsy was on a Friday. That Sunday at church Pastor Craig had the best message. ( https://soundcloud.com/user-971598837/20170108-warrior-the-warrior-within)Even the music felt like they we singing directly to me. Up until this point I was nervous about feeling like I had cancer, but as I sat and prayed to myself during communion I thought, “God, I don’t even know what to say.” I prayed for strength, and peace. Now I’m not saying that I actually heard a voice but it was almost as if thoughts came flooding into my mind. I was reminded that God wastes nothing. even if it is cancer. I felt like the purpose of me getting cancer was so that through my misfortune, I could lead others to him. So from that point on I decided to accept my cancer. Just like Jesus accepted the cross. I chose to embrace this horrible diagnoses with tremendous faith that God will provide for my every need. With the hope that possibly through me others could lean on him too. All of this came to me before I was actually diagnosed. The next Tuesday I sat in my doctors office knowingly waiting. He sat in front of me and very caringly and calmly told me that what I had was in fact cancer. ” I know” I said. “But you are going to be ok.” he said. Again as I said “I know” this time I smiled because I KNOW for sure that I am going to be just fine!